


Hurts so Bad, Feels so Good

by Mystrana



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bloodplay, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Bucky, College!AU, D/s undertones, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Knife Play, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, PWP, Sensation Play, top!steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:45:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystrana/pseuds/Mystrana
Summary: Studying isn't going too well tonight, but that's ok. Steve has a few ideas how to make things better.





	Hurts so Bad, Feels so Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentCoop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCoop/gifts).



> It's all [ her fault! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCoop/pseuds/AgentCoop)

“Stop it, Bucky.” Steve looked up from the table covered in textbooks and note paper and some half-eaten sandwiches. “I can’t concentrate when you’re buzzing around like that.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, the pen on the paper paused as he grinned at Steve. “I’m ‘buzzing’ around? Baby, I’m barely moving. I can’t help it if I am already finished with my assignments and you’re still on -” he glanced at the textbook closest to Steve. “You’re still working on your org chem? Jesus christ, we’re going to be here all night.”

“You keep, I dunno. Licking your lips. Pushing your hair behind your ear. And then it falls back in your face and you flip your head like that’ll make a difference. Your knee is bouncing.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, mussing the short blond strands. “In short, I can’t concentrate and you…” he met Bucky’s eyes and smiled. “Need to go wait.”

Bucky just barely bit back a retort as his eyes darkened beautifully at the word. “Yeah, Steve? You need me to wait for you?”

“You know what I need.” Steve’s voice was lower, his words rushing together even as he tried to space them apart. “Go. Wait. I’ll be in when I finish this assignment.”

Bucky shot up from his chair. It tipped back, but he caught it before it crashed to the floor. He made half an effort to stack up his schoolwork and neaten his side of the table and headed down the hallway to their room, turning for one last look at Steve as he paused in the doorway.

“Clothes on or off?” he called.

“Keep ‘em on,” Steve said, not looking up from the page. “I’ll see you shortly.”

Bucky disappeared into their room, and Steve kept at his work. His knee was bouncing.

 

*

 

Bucky waited in front of the foot of the bed, hyperaware that his jeans and t shirt seemed to be made of sandpaper. He shifted from foot to foot, his excited dick enjoying the movement. Chemistry was Steve’s slowest subject. Not that he was bad at it; he just always checked his work twice.

Standing with his arms folded behind his back and his feet shoulder width apart, Bucky waited. He closed his eyes and counted his breaths until he got to twenty and then shook himself a little, tilting his head side to side. He started counting again.

The way Steve’d been acting, he’d probably check his work three times tonight.

But Bucky waited, his mind more than happy to start providing scenarios for the way the rest of the evening might go. Like Steve showing up in the doorway of their bedroom naked, pushing Bucky’s pants down just enough to bend him over and take him in a single, rough press.  Or Steve going over to the dresser and pulling open the middle drawer. Steve taking out Bucky’s favorite toys and laying them one by one on the bed with a smile somewhere between a promise and a threat.

Bucky took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed, his foot jingling against the soft carpet. Steve was so wound up at the table. Finals looming at the start of the week all but guaranteed that tonight would be rough.

It was going to be so good. Bucky’s dick swelled underneath the tight denim and he rocked his hips back and forth, just a little, just a enough to feel the indent of the zipper moving against his already sensitive cock.

He opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps down the hall, licking his lips and pressing his tongue between his teeth. Fuck. The door to the bathroom closed, and Bucky pouted. He took another breath and closed his eyes. The darkness behind his eyelids swirled with colors as his brain supplied a little stimulation. Bucky waited.

Steve was out of the bathroom now, his footsteps fading down the hallway. Bucky waited for the pull of the chair against the tile floor to signify that Steve had sat back down, gone back to schoolwork.

It never came. Instead, the pipes in the walls whispered to life again, and Bucky knew Steve was running the water in the kitchen. His heart picked up the pace, thumping gently in his chest. Steve was getting ready. The waiting was almost over.

Bucky’s skin crawled with the need to take off his clothes. It was too warm in the bedroom. His dick threatened to press through the zipper at the thought of what Steve might do if he came into the room and Bucky hadn’t listened.

He blew out a breath. Waited. Footsteps down the hallway. They got louder and didn’t stop at the other room, didn’t stop at the bathroom.

Bucky kept his eyes closed even as he heard Steve pause at the doorway to their bedroom.

“You waited so nicely,” Steve said, his voice a lovely deep murmur, the soft praise going straight to Bucky’s groin. 

Bucky nodded, swallowing back words that threatened to spill from his mouth if he parted his lips. Steve was moving now, walking through the bedroom and passing by Bucky. Bucky didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Steve was going for the middle drawer of the dresser.  

Items clattered onto the top of the dresser, and then Steve came up behind Bucky, a warm, solid presence. He wrapped his arms around Bucky, and Bucky sighed into them.

“You can open your eyes, love.” Steve breathed against Bucky’s ear, sending a jolt of a shiver down his spine.

The room came in view again as Bucky opened his eyes. He took a deep, steadying breath as Steve tugged on the hem of his shirt.

“Such a good, good boy,” Steve continued, pulled Bucky’s shirt up inch by slow inch with one hand, and stroking the newly exposed flesh with another.

When Steve pulled the shirt above Bucky’s nipples, he flicked each of them and gave a firm pinch. Bucky winced, squirming in Steve’s arms.

“Please,” he breathed out. 

Steve was happy to oblige, scraping the tips of his fingernails into the skin. Bucky inhaled sharply and Steve stopped just long enough to yank the shirt over Bucky’s head and toss it to the side. 

“You seem ready for some fun, yeah?” Steve asked, but it wasn’t really a question. They both knew the answer. Still, he waited.

“Yes, please,” Bucky replied, gasping when Steve pinched at his nipples again, twisting the buds.

“Go ahead and take your pants off. Then I’m gonna put your blindfold on.” Steve pressed his chest against Bucky’s back, reaching a hand around and petting Bucky through the demin. “Then I’m going to make you beg.”

Bucky rocked his hips, pushing his covered dick against Steve’s hand as he unzipped his pants and eased them off. He leaned against Steve behind him and wished Steve was already naked so they could be skin to skin.

Steve was always saying he’d teach Bucky to be patient.

Even naked, the room seemed just as warm as it had been, maybe hotter. Bucky kept his breath even as Steve turned towards the dresser, grabbing a soft, silk blindfold. He fit it over Bucky’s eyes and the room went dark again.

“Go ahead, sit.” Steve made it sound like a suggestion, but it was the only thing in the world Bucky wanted to do when he heard Steve’s voice low and deliberate like that.

Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, naked and waiting, his nipples still burning . Footsteps faded and then drew near as Steve grabbed something from off the dresser with a clatter and a clink.

Something ice cold and hard touched against Bucky’s back and he lurched up off the bed. Steve’s firm hand snaked out, pushing him back down. Bucky nodded, shivering, as Steve straddled his lap and reached around, pressing the ice cube between his shoulder blades. Melting water dripped down his back, tracing the curve of his bottom.

The ice cube disappeared, Steve tossing it into a bowl by the sound of the clink and then Steve was flicking at Bucky’s nipples with ice cold fingers. Bucky arched his back by instinct, trying to move away from the cold and ask for more at the same time. His cock brushed against Steve’s jean-clad legs. That was nice too. He did it again. And again.

Steve growled low in his throat. “Calm down, love. We’ve got all night.”

Bucky nodded, taking a huge breath that was cut off by Steve running an ice cube straight down the top of his dick. He yelped, pushing back into the bed. Steve just leaned in, putting more of his weight on Bucky’s lap, and sliding the ice down and around, across Bucky’s balls.

At the same time, he blew on Bucky’s nipples, warm puffs of air that had Bucky moaning, his breath hitching when Steve grabbed his balls and tugged. Bucky tried to catch his breath, but Steve was quick, trailing a new ice cube across his chest and scratching down his back with those ice cold fingers. Not enough pressure to break the skin, just a good, sharp tinge of pain.

Bucky was rock hard again, his cock aching.

Steve stepped back, his comforting weight on Bucky’s lap disappearing and Bucky pouted. He didn’t need to see Steve’s face to know Steve was grinning - the way Steve dropped to his knees with a soft thud on the carpet let him know just the same. And then Steve’s mouth was on Bucky’s cock, his tongue flicking across the slit, and everything was perfect again.

Bucky barely had time to groan as Steve took the entirety of his dick into his mouth and back to his throat, the warmth surrounding him so completely that Bucky couldn’t help thrusting back. He tried to still his hips on his own, but Steve helped anyway, digging his fingers into Bucky’s hips, gripping around the bone. 

His other hand must have gone to the bowl of ice, because amidst all that lovely heat and pressure, Steve touched ice to Bucky’s balls again and Bucky whimpered. Steve pressed the ice up, up against his balls, sliding the ice along the skin until he was tracing a cold circle around Bucky’s entrance.

The ice melted, but Steve pressed the tip of his ice cold finger into Bucky, even as he was groaning around Bucky’s cock. Bucky wound his fingers through Steve’s short hair, not pulling, not grabbing, just grounding himself. 

Electric heat flared in his groin and Bucky realized how very, very close he was to orgasm. 

Steve noticed too. He popped off of Bucky’s cock, and stepped away, leaving Bucky teetering on the edge, reaching out to grab Steve to get that last bit of stimulation, that last touch needed to topple him over and -

Nothing. 

“Oh, no, love. Not so soon.” Steve’s smirk was plain in his voice and Bucky whined softly. He couldn’t help it. There was a snap, and a zip, and Bucky surmised that Steve had gone ahead and pulled down his own pants. “You look so good right now. Face completely red. Flushed down your chest. Your nipples are so hard and so red. My fingertips imprinted on your hips.” Steve’s breath caught, and he didn’t speak for another moment. “Your cock so hard and so angry. I could take you back in my mouth and you’d come before I finished a breath.”

Bucky was nodding, his head bobbing up and down in a plea. “Yes. Please. Steve.”

“Mmmm,” Steve murmured. He touched a gentle hand to Bucky’s cheek, lifting up his face and bringing their lips together for a soft kiss, a press of lips like silk to the skin. His breath was so warm against Bucky’s sensitive skin. “No. Not yet. I think you want something else. A little more. Yeah?”

Bucky started to agree again when something Steve pressed something cold and dangerously solid against his back. Bucky shuddered.

“Keep still, love,” Steve said, dragging the blunt end of the ice cold knife up Bucky’s back, and Bucky shuddered again, unable to control it. “I almost didn’t wait long enough. You could come just like this, couldn’t you?”

“Yes, Steve, yes, yes,” Bucky whimpered, pressing his hips almost off the bed, trying to sit still and trying to find friction for his painfully hard dick. 

Steve kept the blunt end in contact with Bucky’s skin as he traced up his back and over his shoulder. “You’re so fucking beautiful, gasping for your breath. Waiting.” He shifted his grip on the knife until he had the point just barely touching Bucky’s sternum.

Bucky kept still, his chest hardly expanding with each breath. But his heart was racing, thumping wildly under his ribs, and he knew Steve could see it.

Steve ghosted the knife tip from sternum to heart, and Bucky whimpered again.

“Please, Steve. Please.” Bucky’s very skin had to be vibrating, buzzing with need. He bit his lip, closing his eyes behind the blindfold, his whole world encapsulated in the point of the knife on his skin. “Please.”

“You beg so beautifully too.” The blade disappeared and Bucky tried not to whine at the loss. “How could I say no?”

Steve had put it back on ice, and the reappearance of the cold steel on Bucky’s arm had him crying out. He shivered again and again, his heart pumping hot blood through his body. Steve pressed down, the sharp knife kissing Bucky’s skin in a beautiful, white hot shock of pain.

“Oh, god,” Bucky gasped. 

He couldn’t catch his breath, not before Steve moved the knife up an inch and cut again, just the tiniest severing of skin, but more than enough to have Bucky shouting. 

Steve pulled back, blowing warm air on Bucky’s nipples and dropping an ice cube in Bucky’s lap. The melting ice dripped down his aching balls and he thrust up against that, too, in a desperate rut for more. 

“Beautiful, love.” Steve was murmuring in his ear now, whispering soft encouragements and compliments and listening to his voice was like drinking rich wine. It left Bucky’s head tingling and warm and he was a little floaty and then that knife was on his other arm, as Steve scratched his skin with the point just hard enough to draw a few drops of blood.

“Steve,” Bucky breathed out. He couldn’t get any other words out, so he repeated that word with a singular focus.

Steve touched Bucky’s cheek again, so softly that Bucky was starting to think he was imaging it. But then Steve was helping him up into the bed, laying him on his back. Steve pushed Bucky’s legs apart and the bed groaned as Steve shifted in between Bucky’s legs, taking his cock into his mouth again.

Bucky groaned. It was too much. Where was the knife? Steve reached up and tweaked at Bucky’s already sore nipple and Bucky’s breath caught in his throat, his balls tensing as Steve didn’t let up, sucking on his cock like it was a popsicle.

Steve’s other hand was on Bucky’s leg, fingernails scratching on the skin. It was nice, but it wasn’t enough, but then it was, because Bucky was curling up. His dick pulsed and he thrusted up, getting ready to come. Steve stopped, just completely broke off every bit of contact, and Bucky cursed.

“Fuck, Steve, please don’t,” Bucky cried out, reaching down for his cock. Steve grabbed his wrists, holding him firmly. “Please let me come. Oh my god, I’m so fucking close.” He took a deep breath. 

“I know, love.” Steve’s voice was wrecked. “You’re destroying me tonight.” He was panting, probably touching himself again.

“Let me?” Bucky asked, reaching out into the darkness. “Use me, Steve.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Yeah, ok. Scoot back. Sit up a little. Open your mouth.”

Bucky nodded and did exactly as he was told, feeling inordinately pleased with himself for getting Steve to agree. “Am I still bleeding?”

“Nah. No. I just went a little.” The bed was shifting again under Bucky as Steve straddled his chest, his legs pressing in against Bucky. “You want more, don’t you?”

“Please.” Bucky didn’t get a chance to utter another word before Steve shoved his cock in Bucky’s mouth. Not far, just the head, pushing against Bucky’s tongue and lips and teeth.

Bucky relaxed his jaw, letting Steve invade his space and relishing the warmth of Steve’s thighs so close to his shoulders. Steve pressed forward into his mouth, his breath catching as Bucky hollowed his cheeks, his lips stretched tight over Steve’s thick cock.

Bucky swallowed around Steve’s cock, trying to pull him in deeper. His nose was buried in Steve’s pubic hair and he smelled the rich scent of Steve’s excitement. Steve started moving in Bucky’s mouth, started pushing in and pulling out, and Bucky let him, reveled in the feeling of being used. 

“Don’t,” Steve warned, even as he groaned between erratic thrusts. “Don’t touch yourself.”

Bucky couldn’t nod, couldn’t speak, so he put his hands on Steve’s thighs to comply. Steve tangled a hand in Bucky’s hair and pet him softly. Bucky all but purred around Steve’s cock, the vibrations earning him another choked cry from Steve. 

Bucky sucked in air through his nose, trying to keep from running out of breath as Steve fucked his mouth for a few more seconds before pulling out. “You’re so good, love. I would come in your mouth every night if you’d let me.” Steve pressed an ice cold finger against Bucky’s entrance and Bucky bounced up on the bed. “May I?”

“Yes, Steve. Please.”

It all happened so fast. Steve had a lube slicked finger half up Bucky’s ass and the knife was back, the sharp edge right up against Bucky’s neck.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” murmured Bucky, his heart rate shooting up again as he struggled to stay still, even as Steve shoved another finger in his ass. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” It began his chant, his mantra as he focused on staying perfectly still, even as Steve wiggled his fingers inside him.

“Perfect, love. You. Are. Perfect.” Steve could barely get the words out. 

He might have added another finger, he might have added two more, but Bucky couldn’t say. He could just focus on the darkness in front of his eyes and the cold, sharp press of steel against his throat and - Steve hit his prostate and Bucky screamed out, unintelligible words and sounds.

But he didn’t move.

Steve traced the blade down Bucky’s throat, along the top of his shoulder, down his bicep. He didn’t draw blood, but Bucky vibrated just the same, anticipation building up beneath the hairs on his neck, waiting to be released in shudder rushing down his spine.

“Back or chest?” Steve asked.

Bucky couldn’t think. He just nodded.

Steve must have put the knife down, because his hands were on either side of Bucky’s hips, lifting him up just enough for him to push inside, his cock just thick enough that it still brushed on the threshold of pain.

Once Steve had eased his way inside, he released his grip on Bucky’s hips and Bucky sagged back in the bed, the pillows behind his head propping him up just enough. 

Steve started fucking him, drawing out slowly and slamming in. The third or fourth time, he had picked up the knife again, pressing the flat side of the blade against Bucky’s nipple.

Bucky nodded. “Please, Steve.” He was so damned proud of himself for forming the words, for not just opening his mouth and crying. His skin sang out, a choir of heavenly voices when Steve angled the blade and cut into his flesh, drawing blood from just above his nipple.

God it hurt. But after that initial rush of pain, it just felt.

Steve’s cock brushed up against his prostate and Bucky cried out again and again as Steve pressed the blade to skin again. Cold steel and warm blood mixed on his chest and Bucky whined, whimpered, cried, begged. Steve was hot, was so huge inside him, it was too much, he couldn’t -

“You can,” Steve said, reading his mind. “You are.” He couldn’t finish his sentences, but Bucky couldn’t form words or sounds, so somehow his mind interpreted that as even.

Bucky was shaking uncontrollably when Steve came, filling him with pulse after pulse of cum. He pleaded, trying to form Steve’s name, to beg him.  _ More. Please. _

Steve knew. Steve always knew. Wrapping a rough hand around Bucky’s cock, Steve pumped him relentless and hard, telling him he was beautiful and pressing the blade of the knife into his skin again, and again, and again, until Bucky was screaming as he came, long ropes of thick, hot cum surging up onto his stomach, unsure if the darkness around him was from the blindfold or if he passed out for a minute.

Steve was taking off the blindfold when Bucky started to regain his senses. The room was dark, the light from the bathroom on and the water in the tub running.

“You were amazing, as always, love,” Steve said as he brushed Bucky’s hair back from his sweat-stained forehead. “Can you stand? Do you need a minute?”

Bucky nodded, wiggling his fingers and his toes, trying to bring some movement back into his body. He took a deep, slow breath. “Mmmmmmmm.”

“I figured.” Steve smiled, gathering Bucky up in his arms. Bucky gave a half hearted protest, leaning against Steve’s chest. Steve was so warm. The water was so warm. He lay in the water as it turned pink around him. Steve washed him, pressing so softly with the washcloth that Bucky was pretty sure he fell back asleep, moving in and out of consciousness.

Steve helped him out of the tub, drying him off from head to toe and sitting him on the bathmat so he could check every cut, treating them as needed. When they were finished, Bucky leaned against Steve as they walked back into the bedroom. He sat on the end of the bed and drank from an ice cold water bottle before Steve would let him crawl under the covers.

“Love you,” Steve murmured, pulling Bucky close. “Thanks for waiting for me.” 

“Love you too,” Bucky whispered into Steve’s chest. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come yell at me on [ tumblr! ](http://mystrana.tumblr.com/)


End file.
